The last time I remember a March being this awful was when I was pregnant, 3 years ago. Even then, it wasn't this level of awful. This March is a tease, a flirt who beguiles you with 70 degree days filled with sunshine and then overnight transforms into a 30 degree rainy hag. It seems as though there has been a mid-week snow or ice storm since the first week of January, and this is particularly bad for my SAD.
At the end of February I went to see my regular doctor and confessed that I wasn't sure I could make it through March. We agreed to increase my Lexapro dose and thank goodness! Without those extra 10 mg, I'm really not sure where I'd be right now.
But all is not doom and gloom. T enrolled in preschool this month and is adjusting extremely well. I am also adjusting: I can now actually use my home office. Today, while filing, I listened to Bjork and wailed out the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I cannot remember the last time I was alone in the house and could sing at the top of my lungs without a care. It was glorious.
Eventually, latitude and climate will win out, and I will be able to sit outside all day without my fingers or toes going numb. I'll turn off my lightbox for a few months and lower my Lexapro and let the humidity and languor of summer steal into my limbs. I'll watch T run through the sprinkler and let my skin breathe fresh air until the healing hands of autumn cool me down (thanks to the Indigo Girls).
But until then, the next time we get ice I'm gonna check out tickets to Florida!
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