Wednesday morning was not good. For starters, I didn't sleep well, so I got up at 6:30, showered and got ready for a full day of work. My only consolation was that my planned activities promised to be very enjoyable, even running on no sleep.
Then, while eating breakfast, something happened that rendered my entire plan for the day impossible. Just like that, boom, a whole day went out the window. Now I was sleep deprived AND unable to look forward to fun things. I was frustrated, furious, and sad. I begrudgingly finished eating, then went back to my bathroom to change into an outfit better suited to my rearranged day. Then I discovered a giant cat turd on my front door mat, which I had to clean up. Finally I sat down on the couch, emailed a few people asking for prayer, and put my head in my arms. I did not feel up to facing any more challenges.
But, the self-help habit is deeply embedded in my life now, so even as I longed to crawl under the covers and pretend the world didn't exist, my brain was working. Prayers ascended to heaven and helped out. God reminded me of people that I had committed to pray for, and I prayed for them. Gradually I reclaimed my own power over the situation. Yes, my schedule had been overturned, but that didn't mean I couldn't put it back together. It would just look different from my original expectations. I made other plans. I promised myself grace: I wouldn't strive to be superwoman today, I would just strive to be Average Jane.
It's not easy to take responsibility for your own life. It's much easier to blame other people and let life happen to you. I get that, I really do. And without the prayer support I got, I'm not sure if I could've even begun to salvage that day. But I did, with the help of God and my community. So maybe, in a way, my Average Jane day was better than my SuperWoman day would've been. Who knows?