Depression has hit me. Typing is kind of like swallowing wood dust with no water in sight, but what the hell.
Apparently, I'm not alone. I'm never alone. Someone else out there is feeling like a failure, so here it is. You and I, we can feel like crap together.
10. I have one client who won't pay me, and another client just quit me, and I'm pretty sure there's no reason to keep pretending that I own a business when I'm not making any money.
9. The only thing I want to do is coach and get paid for it, but apparently I can only coach for free - no one is willing to pay me. This is very sad for me.
8. When I think of quitting my business I want to curl up in a ball and cry.
7. I have no idea what I would do besides this, and that makes me even more depressed. And then I think it'll be impossible to get a job. And then I think maybe I should temp as a secretary and that depresses me even more, because why did I get two Master's degrees if I was just going to be a secretary. I could do that with a lot less education.
6. Then I think I should stay at home with my daughter, pull her out of preschool to save money, and then I realize I suck at being a stay at home mom and I look longingly at the corner where I'm going to cry.
5. Then I think I should be writing, and then I remember that I don't write every day, so clearly I'm not a real writer, and even considering trying to write for a living is total insanity.
4. I wonder what is wrong with me. I mean, my period isn't due for at least 2 more weeks and I'm taking my anti-depressant and using my anti-SAD light box, so why am I so sad?
3. I have made all the wrong choices in my career and there is no recovery.
2. I bought liquor and plan to drink some tonight while eating Oreos, because I have no self-control and I'm clearly a failure, so I might as well throw it all away.
1. Except I won't get drunk. I'll just get sad.
Welcome to the most depressing post ever. I hope that you feel better than me.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
4 Benefits of a "Cleanse"
I recently lost 20 pounds using the Take Shape for Life program. In this program, I eat 5 Medifast replacement meals and 1 Lean and Green meal daily. Once I reached my goal, I began transitioning to a whole foods diet, and that's where I am.
It's not a traditional cleanse or fast, but I'm not a big fan of those, frankly. I'm of the opinion that my digestive system detoxes my body perfectly well. However, it is similar to a cleanse in that I dramatically changed my diet for a few weeks.
I didn't give up dairy or gluten or soy, but I did alter the proportion and amounts. I ate more salads in those weeks than I did in the year prior.
Now that I'm at my "fighting weight" and I'm starting to eat "normally" again, I can see several benefits I gained through changing my diet so drastically.
4. Broken habits. I used to get hungry for lunch, but not know what to eat. So I wouldn't eat anything, and then my hunger would build, and then I would pig out on junk food. On Take Shape for Life, I eat every 3 hours, no matter what. Now I plan ahead and eat something even if I don't want to because I know that's the healthy choice.
3. No cravings. I didn't give up gluten or dairy or soy: those ingredients can be found in many of my meal replacements. But I didn't crave them either. If I wanted chocolate, I could eat a Medifast brownie as my meal. I didn't crave pizza at all, and I love pizza. Eating high quality food in balanced proportions (each meal replacement is high in protein) eliminated any messages of desperation or hunger.
2. Body awareness. I've always heard about insulin crashes after eating something sugary, but I'd never noticed it. After a couple of weeks, one day I cheated and ate a giant chocolate muffin. Within the hour, I crashed and I noticed it! I realized that cheating was truly not worth the bad physical consequences.
1. Emotional awareness. I've always been an emotional eater. And I've also been hungry most of the time. Since I am hungry two or three times a day, it's hard to tell if my desire to eat is purely emotional, or a mix of emotion and hunger. Being in control of my hunger meant when I got the urge to eat emotionally, I knew the desire was all in my head. I was able to identify even more clearly the stress points in my daily routines.
What benefits do you see in a cleanse or detox?
It's not a traditional cleanse or fast, but I'm not a big fan of those, frankly. I'm of the opinion that my digestive system detoxes my body perfectly well. However, it is similar to a cleanse in that I dramatically changed my diet for a few weeks.
I didn't give up dairy or gluten or soy, but I did alter the proportion and amounts. I ate more salads in those weeks than I did in the year prior.
Now that I'm at my "fighting weight" and I'm starting to eat "normally" again, I can see several benefits I gained through changing my diet so drastically.
4. Broken habits. I used to get hungry for lunch, but not know what to eat. So I wouldn't eat anything, and then my hunger would build, and then I would pig out on junk food. On Take Shape for Life, I eat every 3 hours, no matter what. Now I plan ahead and eat something even if I don't want to because I know that's the healthy choice.
3. No cravings. I didn't give up gluten or dairy or soy: those ingredients can be found in many of my meal replacements. But I didn't crave them either. If I wanted chocolate, I could eat a Medifast brownie as my meal. I didn't crave pizza at all, and I love pizza. Eating high quality food in balanced proportions (each meal replacement is high in protein) eliminated any messages of desperation or hunger.
2. Body awareness. I've always heard about insulin crashes after eating something sugary, but I'd never noticed it. After a couple of weeks, one day I cheated and ate a giant chocolate muffin. Within the hour, I crashed and I noticed it! I realized that cheating was truly not worth the bad physical consequences.
1. Emotional awareness. I've always been an emotional eater. And I've also been hungry most of the time. Since I am hungry two or three times a day, it's hard to tell if my desire to eat is purely emotional, or a mix of emotion and hunger. Being in control of my hunger meant when I got the urge to eat emotionally, I knew the desire was all in my head. I was able to identify even more clearly the stress points in my daily routines.
What benefits do you see in a cleanse or detox?
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