Thursday, June 26, 2014

Lipstick and the slippery slope to victimhood

This morning my daughter and I were painting our toenails. It was all good fun. Then I gave her a spare eyebrow brush to use to "paint" her doll's toenails. She was occupied, and I left the room for a few moments. When I came back, she was applying my lipstick. Now, my lipstick is one of those lip stains which will outlast anything. I rushed to wipe it off her lips before it set, and then she asked me the fateful question. "Can I have lipstick?"
My mind went into high gear. She's not even three years old yet. Lipstick is something older women use to look attractive. If I give her lipstick, she'll learn that her worth comes from her appearance. Then she'll be anorexic and vulnerable to any sweet talking teenage boy who wants to take advantage. She'll be broken and destroyed. All of this, in less than a minute after my little girl asked for lipstick.
"Sure," I said. Chapstick is the answer. I knew I could buy her some chap stick, which would fulfill her request without her looking like a 3 year old pageant competitor. We went to Target, all while my mind worried.
You're teaching her that her appearance is all that matters. She's going to get addicted to chap stick. She'll lick it off and reapply it the way you did and then get severely chapped lips. 
And then, a moment of clarity. She only wants lipstick because Mommy wears it.
I relaxed. She wants to put lipstick on her mouth because I do, not because she wants to look or feel pretty. I remembered when one of my nephews wanted to paint his toenails: because he had see his Grandmother do it. I remembered a friend whose son had asked for makeup, just because he saw his mommy putting it on.
I'm still not 100% comfortable with my decision. I bought her Burt's Bees chap stick, Pink Grapefruit flavor just because the lid is pink. She was delighted, opened it, and proceeded to smear it on her lip and then lick it. She's not obsessed with her appearance. She's just a normal kid, experimenting with her world. And my anxiety? Just the normal anxiety of a mom. One thing I've learned in the last 3 years is that sometimes you just have to make a decision and hope that it's the right one. I can't be perfect. I can only love her.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Back Stories II

In honor of this insane page, I offer some back stories.

Georgette and Randy were devastated when his dog ate their engagement ring. However, they went ahead and posed for their engagement photo shoot, after Georgette used plenty of Visine for her eyes. She wore a drugstore ring in place of the real thing. And then, just when Randy was about to shoo his dog off, they looked into his butt and saw that the ring was emerging!
Matilda and Ralph had a very long and happy marriage. On their honeymoon, they had placed a wager. 50 years later, Matilda lost.

Monday, June 2, 2014

In Defense of Daddies

I'm a feminist, but that doesn't mean that I hate men, by any means. I believe men and women are equal, in divine origin, in dignity, and in human ability and potential. And this is part of the feminist source that this post flows from.
Just a little while ago, I left my hysterical daughter in her room with her father. She screamed and wailed, all because it was time for singing and she wanted to read one more book. We don't have a lot of rules in our house, but the bedtime ritual is one of them. When it is time to sing, there is no negotiation. And so I left the room while my husband struggled with our daughter as she physically thrashed and hollered her disappointment. I knew that her daddy would be able to calm her down. Could he do it as fast as me? Maybe, maybe not. But it is important that he be an equal parent to her. He has his own ways with her, his own rituals. He has his own techniques.
I see so many moms treat fathers like incompetent babysitters, and that is certainly what our culture and our media wants us to believe. But that is incredibly dangerous. Her daddy disciplines her as much as I do. Her daddy plays with her one on one as much as his schedule allows. He is an equal in our marriage and in our parenting.
Now, there is an obvious caveat here: moms and dads must be in agreement on discipline and rules. If I believed in time outs and he believed in spanking, we would need to come to agreement before we trusted each other to parent. But once that agreement is in place, then moms, empower your husbands to parent! It's a relief for you. Plus, by treating him as an adult, he'll know you respect him. And whether you're a complementarian or an egalitarian, you know everyone enjoys respect!


So I found this link on Facebook, and someone idly wondered about the back stories of these pictures. I have done extensive research and now I will reveal the awesome back stories of these photos!
 Marvin is an undercover agent for the Raleigh UPS drivers association. As part of a sting operation, he crashed his van into the river. Then, using nothing but the contents of the packages in his van, he fashioned this tuxedo and escaped into a throng of prom goers.

 I had my last date from last night. Things were going really well, except the guy talked a LOT about his roommate Brian. And then we got to the restaurant and I saw this. He said, "I hope you don't mind, I invited my roommate Brian to join us."