Monday, November 24, 2014

Rage, anyone?

So I'm angry. Haha, big surprise! I've had to leave my church community and I have a strong willed 3 year old who is potty training. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not a festering explosion every day. (Patting my own back here).
I'm taking steps towards my healing, and one of them is to accept that I am angry. Right now, it's ok for me to feel anger. What happened at my church was wrong. I was mistreated, gossiped about, and so were many people that I love. I'm learning the hard way that the community I was intimately involved in for years does not want to continue in relationship with me now that I'm gone.
In addition, parenting is HARD. Parenting a strong willed toddler is even harder. Parenting a strong willed toddler using the attachment positive parenting paradigm is damn near impossible. It's certainly exhausting. Doing that while establishing a business and running a household is super human, and right now my relief valve involves anger, rather than other feelings. And that's OK.
On the plus side, I'm feeling more creative than ever, and I just committed to writing 1000 words a day in 2015, which means a whole lot more blog posts here!

It's like I tell my clients all the time: rage and anger are not evil or bad feelings. It's how we express them that's negative. I'm choosing constructive ways to deal with my anger. Journaling, blogging, talking with supportive loving friends, and laughing as much as possible. Rough housing with my 3 year old, which relieves all those stress hormones and leads to laughter. Asserting myself as needed. Lather, rinse, repeat.

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