Thursday, October 6, 2016

Consequences Without Anger


We recently moved my daughter’s art table and supplies into her bedroom. One morning she drew on her wall in a fit of anger. Although it must be said that the drawing was quite lovely and pretty, still I sat her down the next day and we talked about the art supplies, which include scissors. I explained to her that she could not draw on any furniture, linens, carpet, or clothing. Then we talked about scissors. I told her she could not cut anything that wasn’t paper or fabric scraps. I said she couldn’t cut fabric, clothing, furniture, dolls, or people’s hair. I explained she couldn’t cut her own hair or the hair of her friends. I also explained that she couldn’t allow her friends to cut their own hair or her own hair. I thought I was pretty thorough in that respect. And then I told her that any transgression would result in the removal of the supplies from the room. Cutting = no scissors. Drawing = no markers/crayons/pencils. She agreed.


A few days later, today, she and I were snuggling, and she informed me that she had used her scissors to cut the hair of one of her dolls.

I’m not mad. I get it. She’s a smart girl who likes to push boundaries. And I’m thrilled that she confessed honestly and without any prompting. Which actually makes it even harder for me to remove the scissors from her room. But that’s what parenting is all about.

Still, it kind of cracks me up that two days after our conversation, she very deliberately disobeyed me. This is what a strong willed child looks like: not only do they push boundaries when upset, they push boundaries when they are calm!

I’m very proud of my strong willed girl. She’s definitely a born leader!

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