The Hideous Surprises of Growing Old

“I thought you’d get more time out of this tooth,” he says with a sigh.

Overhead the TV is broadcasting interviews with the USA hockey team, wearing their gold medals.

“Is there something I can do? Should I brush more often? Take calcium?”

Another sigh.

“It’s just a matter of time now. We don’t usually remove teeth until there’s pain or swelling.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

So there’s a reprieve, of sorts. I get to keep this molar until it becomes painful.

The medalists smile, young faces filled with shiny white teeth. Teeth that aren’t being rejected by their gums.

I continue my questions, hoping for some word of hope, some instruction for preservation. It’s small comfort to realize that there’s nothing I can do: the roots of my molars just aren’t normal, and so they don’t really work. But I’m only 43. I didn’t expect to be discussing tooth implants with my dentist today.

This is the worst part of aging. It’s the unexpected parts. The random chin and neck hairs that sprout overnight and are somehow a full inch long. The way my newly limp skin droops around my neck. The surprising shifts in menstruation.

My birthday was Tuesday. Everyone wishes me well and asks me how it went. What is there to say? It was a good day, in a good life that I have worked very hard to create. A life in which, I’m learning, there is no way to sit back and rest on one’s laurels. Because a good life is also a life where there is constant change. As a parent, I’m teaching my child, the love of my life, how to successfully move away and live without me. As a wife I’m investing my energy and intimacy into another mortal, which means one day I will be left without a partner (or he will). As a coach, I pour out love and support to equip a person to move ahead without my help.

I’m not happy about potentially losing my tooth. But I will adjust and move forward. And once I get comfortable, my body will jump into another surprise of middle age. Life will happen no matter how I feel about it. I might as well choose acceptance and find joy.