Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Culinary Napalm

It was a sunny fall day, approaching Halloween, and my mom was making caramel candy, which meant there was a pot of boiling sugar on the stove. And this is how I know Rebecca knew what she was doing, because as soon as she came in the kitchen she crowed “Culinary napalm!” It’s what Alton Brown calls boiling sugar. Rebecca watches Food Network all the time. She still does, no doubt plotting my death. So my mom nodded and told Rebecca to stay on the other side of the island (she's only 8 years old). I was next to mom, helping her cook, like always. I mean, I may have been a beauty queen, but I wasn’t prissy or afraid to get my hands dirty.

I’m still not sure how Rebecca managed it. I just know she must have been planning it for a long time. She left the kitchen without us noticing – we were handling culinary napalm, after all, and then we heard her screaming outside. My mom ran out, commanding me to watch the sugar. The next thing I knew, Rebecca was inside the kitchen, screaming frantically about the squirrel that had attached itself to her, and she pushed me headfirst into the pot.

Yeah, my beauty queen days are over. Rebecca isn’t following in my footsteps either. She just keeps watching Food Network. But I’m not worried. I’m watching DIY network, and I’m getting pretty handy with a nail gun…

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