Monday, July 13, 2015

The Top 7 Things Picky Eaters Don't Want to Hear (Again)

I'm a picky eater. I was born that way. For a long time, I accepted it. I never challenged myself to try new foods or consider other options. And then, after college, I decided to branch out. I grew bold. I tried salad dressings, Chinese food, Moroccan food, Mexican food, Korean food, condiments, and new meats, fruits, and vegetables.

I discovered that I am still a picky eater. I dislike most salad dressings, Mexican food, anything spicy, all condiments, bitter vegetables, and some fruits.

I am not alone, however! Picky eaters (toddlers as well as adults) are legion, and we are tired of hearing the same old thing over and over! So here are the top 7 statements that we picky eaters don't like hearing!

7. You just haven't had any GOOD _____.
Look, I've been to more Mexican restaurants than I can count, and I don't like Mexican food. Just because it's authentic or high quality doesn't mean it appeals to my tastebuds.

6. Have you ever tried _____?
Yes, yes I have. But you know what, even if I haven't, that's not really relevant. Until we are in some kind of famine situation, I have a right to decide what I will and won't eat. I ain't never gonna eat sushi, and I refuse to feel bad about that!

5. Oh, this version isn't spicy/fatty/bland.
When I say I can't eat spicy food, I mean it. If there's too much black pepper in a meal, I break a sweat. I get that you want to share this culinary experience with me, but can we share something else instead?

4. But it's SO GOOD!
I'm sure it is. If it were disgusting, it probably wouldn't be available. But it really just isn't so good to me!

3. Oh, your poor spouse.
Yes, my poor unfortunate husband. He never gets to eat Mexican food or sushi (except for lunch, or dinner when I'm out of town). I'm sure that given the choice, he'd rather be alone and eat Mexican food every night. Husbands and wives are capable of eating independently of each other. I mean, it would be one thing if I married a sushi chef (is that what they're called?), but I married a regular guy who has tastes different from mine.

2. You're eating THAT?
I like my burgers plain - meat and bun. And people stare at my delicious, simple burgers as though I have loaded them down with dead leaves and centipedes!

1. Oh, can we go to [insert name of least favorite restaurant here]? I've got a coupon.
If I don't offer guidance as to what I like and dislike when discussing meal plans, my least favorite foods invariably get picked as options! It's totally my fault for being so picky, but it's just so awkward - I hate to sound like a prima donna when someone asks me what I like to eat.

Obviously, this post is meant in fun - this is NOT a big problem.
And I bet that people on special diets hear the same comments - what do you say, vegetarians, vegans, gluten-free people, allergy-ridden people? What do you hear all the time about food?

No comments:

Post a Comment